Now i'm about to continue my journey on Inferno, for those who hasn't read the previous post, i suggest you not to.
"Why you don't want to take us across my old friend?" "because i'm enough with my shits and i don't think i have enough space for other people's Virgil, and we've never been a friend" seems like there ain't no way, this son of bitch will never change his mind. Then i take Bob to talk "hey the fuck Bob? Where is your magic trick?" "what?" "you usually bring something to bribe those bitches and now what? You'll keep asking for a thousand times just to hear a thousand nos? Come on Bob, i know that you have shit for that bitch, just please stop wasting our time" "no i don't have anything" "oh Bob come on i can no longer take that Phlegyas' handsome face, i'm sick of it, i want to kiss him, i might turn gay if you don't hurry" "no really Dante i don't have anything to please him, i don't know anything about this guy and no one really knows unless God himself" "oh you serious Bob?" "well yes i am" "then how we cross? Is there any other way than using that son of a bitch's 'ferry'?" "i don't know how and i don't think there is other way, i think swimming probably worth a shot" "oh really swimming? Oh my god, i will think how to please this Phlegyas. So we should take this guy's skiff to reach the other side of the river, but to me he seems like won't change his mind in any way we're going to try, right Bob?" "no i will just give him a bar of chocolate like the last time i went here" "SAID YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BRIBE HIM MOTHERFUCKER" "yes i said that i don't have anything, but i didn't say that i don't have chocolate" "WHAT THE FUCK BOB I'M AFRAID THAT I SHOULD SWIM ACROSS" "why so serious?" "FUUUUUUCCCCCKKK YOU GOT ME BOB FUCK YOU" i cried. So we come back to Phlegyas and do some light talks before we give him the chocolate.
"Hey Phlegyas, how long have you been here?" "forever, human" "oh really? What are you actually doing in here buddy? You look exhausted, right Bob?" "absolutely" "then why would you care on me human? And forget about everything Virgil, i won't take you across" "well i'm not asking you to Phlegyas, and i think that human is talking to you, pleas honor him a bit" "what you want human?" "no i don't want anything buddy, i just think that you've been here for such a long time and you look super exhausted" "well if you don't mind i'm on work right now" "what buddy? What are you doing?" "i'm doing my job" "hey Bob, what is our buddy actually doing? What is his job?" "his job is to take care and keep the environment of the Styx the way it is" "that's it Bob?" "and carry some passenger across it" "oh heard like a big thing to do Bob, i would be so hungry if i were him" "yes of course Dante, he might be an unliving creature, and so do i, but i still feel starve even if i should not do the obligation to fulfill my stomach" "so Bob, it ought to be a nice thing to have something to eat right?" "very very nice thing" "so Bob, i'm hungry too" "yes Dante me too" "so i think we supposed to have a CHOCOLATE bar left right?" "hell yes we have Dante" "i think it's a very very nice thing to eat that because we're exhausted and we're hungry of our long journey right?" "very very nice thing" "well then where's the CHOCOLATE Bob?" "here it comes Dante" "wow Bob, one really nice white CHOCOLATE bar" "yes Dante a really nice white CHOCOLATE" "hmmm it must be really delicious right?" "yes of course, and it must be much more delicious because we're starving" "hmmm so what are we waiting for Bob?" "go on my friend". I pretend that i'm going to put that Hershey's on my mouth, but only a few inches left from my mouth "STOOOOPPPPP!!!!!" "what Phlegyas? You want some of this?" "fuck you human fuck you, and you Virgil, fuck you" "so you could take us across Phlegyas?" "no forget it, i was just shocked" "oh well okay Phlegyas, and Bob i think we've been mistaken, we have 2 CHOCOLATE bars am i right?" "wait let me check it" then Bob checks his backpack "oh yes Dante you're right, we have 2 bars" "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I WILL TAKE YOU ACROSS, give the chocolates to me now" "well buddy here they come". Even if Phlegyas reluctantly do it, but he transports us across the Styx.
We're on the skiff and hell yes i'm afraid because it is a river, and not so far from here, there are a lot of humans standing on the middle, they are not actually just standing, they are punching each other when i could take a better closer look. "Wow wow who are they Bob?" "the wrathful buddy" "well it's pretty strange to see this happening thing down here, these bitches walk on the water surface and they punch each other, i would rather go somewhere else on this river" "they're programmed to Dante, i mean you can't do anything when you're dead unless you enter Paradiso, but here in Inferno, nah don't you think that you can do anything you want to, even only a little bit, you can't do anything because you were punished" "it's just funny to see a lot of people fighting each other" it looks like every single each of them fight for themselves, for nothing, they just punch anyone their hand can reach, it's so funny to see that kind of thing. We pass through this humans and they give us the path without paying attention to anything but their targets. They just get off our path without stopping punching on each other and without looking at us. In the middle of the crowd, i see a big man, about 2,1 meters tall with big muscular body, he punches a man near him and that poor man falls pretty hard onto the water, he drowns, then he swims to the surface, and then he rises back standing on it, he ain't punch that big guy back but instead kick him, but that big guy doesn't moved, so he punch that poor guy again much harder than before, that man falls and drowns and rises all over again. "Hahahaha they are so stupid Bob" "i said that you will love this one" "yes you are right Bob, there are some little piece of entertainments on this one hahaha better than any previous circles". But i get bored no longer after that, so i drop my hand to the surface and play the wave with my hand. And when i see the water, i immediately pull my hand back "HOLY MOTHER OF BITCHES, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" "what Dante?" "HOW COME THERE ARE HUMANS INSIDE THE RIVER BOB? WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?" "oh take it easy man, they are the sullen" "HELL YES I'M COOL BUT THEY FREAKIN' THE FUCK OUT OF ME" "the sullen lie gurgling beneath the water, withdrawn into a black sulkiness which can find no joy in God or man or the universe" "I DON'T FUCKING CARE, I ALMOST GOT A HEART ATTACK" "this human is pussy Virgil" "SHUT UP PHLEGYAS, JUST PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP" "yes he is Phlegyas" "CAN WE DRIVE FASTER YOU SHIT? I'VE KNOWN THIS CIRCLE AND I THINK WE CAN PROCEED TO THE NEXT ONE" "pussy".
Then not so long after that, we reach the other side of the river "hey Phlegyas, thanks a lot" "fuck you". Then we take the elevator.
Sixth Circle
I asked about Phlegyas in the elevator "the first human-formed inhabitant of hell is a motherfucking jerk, what's wrong with him Bob? Seems like you have some private problem with our lovely Phlegyas because the others aren't acted that hard to us" "human-formed? Who the fuck are you talking about?" "what Bob?" "Phlegyas? Human formed? Have you been drinking lately?" "yes on the 4th circle" "you were drunk buddy" "oh really?" "yes Phlegyas isn't a human formed creature" "oh fuck i was too drunk to see, so what is he look like?" "he is a Faun" "what is that?" "have you watched Narnia?" "yes" "he is Mr. Tumnus" "oh he looks like that goat man" "no no no he is Mr. Tumnus himself" "oh my fuck he played a role?" "yes" "i think that Mr. Tumnus was James Mcavoy" "nah that was Phlegyas" "fuck this world is real strange, first i get into this place then i find out that hollywood hired a hell indigenous" "yeah i know" "and do you recall that Lucy Pevensie Bob?" "yeah that little bitch" "she's a smokin' hot chick right now Bob" "i know what puberty can do Dante, i know".
We open the elevator door forcefully because the door stuck. Then this sixth circle shows its face, this is the face of hell i always thought about where all i can see is flame and figures of humans burned inside it. It's so frightening in here, the atmosphere is so different and i don't feel really good. "This sixth circle is for the heretics Dante, i've been here lots of times but i still frightened of this circle" "yeah i also don't feel really good in here Bob, where's the elevator?" "i think we better use the previous elevator to reach the seventh circle because it is closer" "oh okay, i think we can't use the elevator to jump off any circle" "hah?" "i mean i think the elevator from the fifth circle can only reach the sixth circle and we should take another elevator from the sixth circle to reach the seventh circle" "no we can go to any circle from the elevator Dante, up or down, but that's not how we work right? The pleasure would gone if we do that kind of thing" "pleasure? Oh come on you fuck, i just remember that i still don't know why you take me here and who you actually are Bob" "i said that you'll find out later Dante, and my name is Virgil you knew that, but you can call me anything you want" "i'll call you pussyslayerxxx419" "i mean you can call me Bob, you shit" "so Bob seventh circle?" "yes let's go".
Seventh Circle
Bob tells me that this circle is quite terrifying. He says that i should prepare myself for the terror i'm about to see. Yes it makes sense, the more deeper, the more horror it gets. "Bob i start to feel not good about the rest of this journey, i mean i can no longer enjoy it anymore, it's getting worse and worse" "yes i know that Dante, i also don't enjoy the trip from sixth circle deeper cause it's so frightening to see such kind of things, but trust me Dante we're here for a reason, you'll get the good points of it later after we finish" "can we just finish this trip faster Bob? It doesn't feel good here, and we're only in the elevator, the door ain't even opened yet" "i'd like to Dante, but we should do this" "oh God, okay okay" "here grab some chocolate from my backpack, will make you feel better" "okay let me get some, where it is?" "inside it" i try to look up for some chocolate in the backpack but i can't find it anywhere "where the fuck is the chocolate Bob?" "inside it" "i wouldn't fucking ask you twice if i already found it bitch" "oh it's not there?" "no" then Bob takes the pack off his back and try to look for the chocolate. "Too bad i can't also find it Dante" "did you give the last bar to Phlegyas?" "well, probably that was the last" "oh shit you retard" "you were the one who said that we have 2 bars to him you fuck" "i thought we have more" "yeah i also thought that we have more" "so we don't?" "you can take a fucking closer look to my belongings and if you find any, i don't think i need to answer that question BECAUSE WE OBVIOUSLY DON'T YOU MORON" "hey take it easy Bob what the fuck is wrong with you?" "I NEED SOME CHOCOLATE" "WELL ME TOO YOU PIECE OF SHIT" "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT" "WE WOULDN'T BE HERE ANYWAY IF WE DIDN'T GIVE THAT PHLEGYAS FUCKER THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE YOU SON OF A BITCH SO JUST GO WITH IT" "NO FUCK NO DON'T BLAME THAT FUCKER" "WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT BOB?" "I NEED A FUCKING HUG" "wut?" "I'M SO FUCKING SCARED DANTE, I'M SCARED" "wait wut?" "forget it".
Ding dong the elevator bells ring and the door opens.
This is the seventh circle, i can't explain the terror properly. DORA MARQUEZ IS FUCKING BOOTS ALL OVER THE HORIZON, all you can see is this bitch gets banged hard by a monkey.
"Who wrote the last paragraph Dante?" "i don't really know Bob, just leave it there" "yes i don't care but that is so... Forget it we're on a circle" "that's it"
This seventh circle has 3 parts, the outer ring, the middle ring, and the inner ring. We will be walking outside in. Now we're on the outer ring. "The circle resides the violent, and this outer ring is for the violent against people and property, this river called Phlegethon, and you can see the violent immersed there Dante" "the water seems so hot Bob, so terrifying" "yes it is boiling and no it was not water buddy, it's blood" "oh i see, that explained why it looks red" "how could you pay more attention to the water than the sinners dude?" "i try not to notice them, i try not to care, cause it's so uncomfortable to look at melting bones and human flesh" "oh i forget that you also have those great chances to enter this Inferno right?" "no i won't do any more sins for my entire life of course" "bingo, you already got the big point of this journey buddy" "so that's it? Can i go home?" "no there are some others" "fuck why should i stuck here with an introvert retard, just tell me what" "no said you hate spoiler" "i blown my head with my very own bullet, well eat shit" "gotcha bitch".
Then we enter the middle ring. It's so noisy in here "OH MY FUCK OH MY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" "THE HARPIES DANTE" "NO NOT THE HARPIES BOB, THE BUSHES THEY WERE EATING, I CAN SEE FACES ON THAT BUSHES" "OH YES THEY WERE THE SUICIDES DANTE, THE VIOLENT AGAINST SELF" "DAMN, THEY ARE BEING TORN OFF BY THE BEAKS" "YES DANTE AND TAKE A BETTER LOOK, YOU SEE THAT WATER-LIKE LIQUID WHEN THE HARPIES ARE FED UPON THE THORNY BUSHES THERE?" "LET ME GUESS, THAT WAS BLOOD?" "YES THAT IS" "OH FUCK I CAN'T STAND THE NOISE BOB LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" "YES GOOD IDEA, THIS WAY"
And finally the inner ring. A dessert with fire on it, and there is a rain from the sky, a rain of fiery flakes. "Oh god it's getting worse" "yes it is Dante, cause the deeper place means the heavier sins committed" "who are they Bob?" "said you would tell their presence" "oh i see, BEHOLD YOUR BROTHER FROM ANOTHER WORLD, SODOMITES, YOUR GREAT BIG VIRGIL IS HERE" "what the fuck Dante?" "i know you like dick gay living dead" "the fuck?" "DEAR COCKSUCKERS, WHY DON'T YOU PULL YOUR BROTHER OVER YOUR PLACE?" "YO SODOMITES, THIS HUMAN IS YOUR KIN SUCCESSOR, HE GOT LEFT BY YOU AND NOW HE GOT NO DICK LEFT TO BLOW OR BUTT TO STAB SO HE SUCKS HIS OWN DICK AND STABS HIS OWN ASSHOLE WITH HIS OWN IMPOTENT DICK" "damn that's good, DEAR SODOMITES, THIS BOB HAS BEEN EYEBALLING MY BEAUTIFUL BUTT FROM THE VESTIBULE AND I JUST PRETEND THAT I DON'T NOTICE BECAUSE I FEEL SORRY OF KNOWING THAT HE HAS NO DICK TO STAB MY ASS" "so you would ask me to put my dick into your ass if i have one?" "damn... Hell no Bob... I was just saying that.... Wait... DEAR SODOMITES, THIS BOB JUST ADMITTED THAT HE HAS NO DICK" "oh fuck, you win this round Dante you win this round..." "HELL YEAH SODOMITES I'VE BEEN WALKING WITH A DICKLESS MAN THIS WHOLE TIME" "stop it you won" "dickless shit" "gay". Bob also said that this inner ring also houses the blasphemers.
Then we decide to walk out this circle because even if i finally met the Sodomites, the torture still looks horrible, so the faster it finished the better.
Eighth Circle
"We better take a rest now Dante, it's a long road to go to the last 2 circles" "oh i don't know whether i can do it in the elevator but i'll try" "the eighth circle is a huge floor, a real broad floor" "oh well then i'll try to take some rest" "yes you better".
While we're having some rest inside the elevator, Bob explains about the next circle we're going to step our feet on. He says that the elevator ends up in a place and we can only reach the center of the circle by descending a vast cliff which means we should get a ride, but he didn't tell me what kind of ride we're going to take. The eighth circle stands for the fraudulent, for those who were involved in conscious fraud or treachery. And he also says that this circle have some difference with the previous circle, the guilty are placed in the circle named Malebolge or evil pockets. I can't imagine how evil pockets look like but Bob says that it's some kind of ditch of stones. It divided into ten bolgie with bridges spanning in between every bolgie.
"Well stop saying anything Bob, you said that i better take some rest before the elevator stops while now you keep talking, i know that you have no dick but you have to learn to grow one" "stop it Dante, stop talking about Dick, i know that you've won a round so just please stop boasting the fuck out of it" "i was just asking for you to shut up and let me try to fall asleep" "oh well then sorry, go ahead, i'll leave you" "wtf?" "i said rest not sleep" "well sleep is my rest" "i don't forbid you to sleep Dante go ahead" "then let me sleep" "then i'll leave you" "then fuck sleep" "then once i again i don't forbid you to" "then fuck this Bob".
I suddenly transported to a restaurant in Venice, across the table, there she is sitting beautifully waiting for the wine and the appetizer, my love of my life, Beatrice. Beatrice gets up from her chair and outstandingly break the table into two with her head "DID YOU SEE THAT SONS OF BITCHES?" then the whole restaurant clap their hands after she said that. Then we walk out that restaurant but a Jamaiccan hobo bangs me wildly with his guitar and saying strange random words right in front of that restaurant. "WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER WAKE UP" then i realize that i'm in an elevator with this Jamaiccan hobo. "Was i sleeping Bob?" "half an hour" "oh god thank you Bob" "for?" "for not literally leaving me here" "damn why did i wake you up" "i love you Bob" "fuck this shit" "so are we there yet?" "in a moment". It takes a pretty long time to reach the eighth circle but the elevator door finally opens.
Only a few meters apart from the elevator door, deterring us and the first Bolgie, there stands a giant cliff, a giant vast cliff. "Oh god Bob, i wasn't thinking about something this tall when you said that we should descend a vast cliff" "nah take it easy, we'll get a ride" "isn't there an elevator which headed straightly to the Malebolge?" "fuck no, but there is an elevator down there, we can't cheat on this one, we will always showed up here if we use the elevator, no way to end the elevator up down there" "god made this place well" "yes no one really know how" "so what kind of ride we're going to use to get down there?" "come". Bob do some idiotic dancing on the edge of that cliff while singing idiotic song with idiotic lyrics i don't understand, i almost got beaten by the temptation to kick this bitch down the cliff, but hell no i need him. "What the hell are you doing?" no answer, he just keep doing that shit, so i just keep watching him when suddenly a loud big roar echoing from the bottom of the cliff. "Oh i see Bob, the ride..." he keep doing that shit over and over. Then the roar is getting louder and louder and i, as a human, feel terrified, of course. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT BOB? DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT MOTHERFUCKING CERBERUS WHO WAS TRYING TO EAT US? AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET A BIGGER FLYING MONSTER TO RIDE THEM ON THE BACK LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS OF THIS BLESSED PALACE OF SATAN?" and again, no answer, that stupid dancing is getting more hectic than before. "HEY YOU BASTARD ANSWER ME" and you know that there is no answer "yah fuck this Bob, i believe in you" "just shut the fuck up, he's coming" then the flying monster shows up and the flutter of its wings almost blown me down toward land. "Come come, come good boy come" then the monster lands on the ground "Dante, please welcome Geryon, the one of the oldest ancient creature on Inferno" "oh god" it has, for once again, three heads. "I don't really know does Geryon have 3 heads or conjoined bodies but the most important thing is that he will travel us down there to the chain of Bolgie, Malebolge" "yes go ahead the faster the better" "why'd you look so afraid to meet Geryon Dante? You look so pale" "no i'm fine, go ahead Bob go ahead show me how to get on his back" "hahaha pussy". Then we both get on Geryon's back and Bob speaks in other language than English to Geryon, i don't know, probably some ancient language "ayo Geryon kita udah siap nih udah di punggung, ayo kita turun ke bawah" "oke Virgil, pegangan ya" "iya Geryon tenang aja". Then we start descending down the cliff. "I'VE NEVER BEEN IN ANY KIND OF FLIGHT BOB, PLEASE TELL THIS RETARDED CREATURE TO SLOW DOWN OR I'LL PUKE HIS BACK OFF" "REMAIN CALM DANTE IT'S SAFE, AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE ABOUT TO THROW UP, PUSH THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE AND VOILA! A MOTHERFUCKING SINK!" "DAMN IS THERE A TOILET TOO?" "YOU CAN SHIT ON YOUR OWN FACE CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ONE" SON OF A BITCH". And the flight finally over, we're on the center of the eighth circle "makasih banyak ya Geryon" "iya Virgil, Geryon pulang ya ke gua" "oke Geryon hati-hati yaa" "nanti kalo ada apa apa mampir aja ke rumah yaa" "iya Geryon makasih banyak yaa" "oke Virgil dadaah" "dadaah".
In front of us, the first Bolgie.
Humans marching in lines in opposite direction while getting whipped by some sort of demons. Bob says that this first Bolgie stands for the panderers and seducers, they walk in separated lines to opposite direction. They will be marching while getting whipped by demons for all eternity. Then we walk upon the bridge that connected this first Bolgie to the second.
At the end of the bridge, Bolgie 2.
Bolgie 2 belongs to the flatterers. They steeped in human excrement which represent the words they produced. This second Bolgie is much more like a water park without water but instead shit, shit park. And this place smells awful, Bob almost die here twice, no kidding, i almost die here. Twice. Failed committing suicide. Because this shit land smells really bad, we don't take too much photos in here and head straight to the bridge.
Bolgie 3 ahead.
For those who committed simony, they placed head-first in holes in rocks resembling Baptismal fonts with flames burning on the soles of their feet. "THESE USELESS FUCKERS SHOULD'VE BEEN nah fuck this let's go Bob" "yep".
Next, Bolgie 4.
Here in the 4th Bolgie, the sorcerers, astrologer, and false prophets have their head twisted around on their bodies backward so they find it necessary to walk backward because they couldn't see ahead. "Why are they here Bob?" "because they're sinners" "oh yeah i forgot that we're in hell, but tell me something, are you retarded?" "no, you are" "oh okay" "it's forbidden to see the future, and they could have been lying either" "yes yes i don't understand what you were saying because i'm a retard" "oh yah i forgot, sorry".
The fifth Bolgie
The place for corrupt politicians, they immersed in a lake of boiling pitch, which represents the sticky fingers and dark secret of their corrupt deals. These sinners get guarded by of Malebranche which keep making trumpet sound of their asses. The sinners trying to pull us to that lake and the Malebranche captivated that sinners but he ain't dead. Malacoda, the leader of the Malebranche, assign a troop of Malebranche to escort us safely to the next bridge.
Bolgie 6 after the bridge
For the hypocrites, they are walking listlessly with lead-gilded cloaks, which means so heavy for them to walk with. The cloaks represent the falsity behind the surface of their appearance of their actions, falsity will weighs them down here. "Next hole buddy?" "next hole".
Bolgie 7 in front of us
There is Centaur Cacus guarded the thieves, with a dragon on his shoulder and snakes covering his equine back. The thieves are pursued and bitten by snakes and lizards, the snake bites make them undergo various transformations, which is nice, for us, another thing to laugh at here at Inferno.
Bolgie 8 there
The eighth Bolgie stands for fraudulent advisers, not those who gave false advice, but the people who used their positions to advise others to engage in fraud. They are concealed within individual flames. "NEXT BOB NEXT"
There comes the ninth Bolgie
A demon, a sword-wielding demon hacks at the sowers of discord, dividing their body parts as they divided others when they were alive. The wound heals, just to get tore apart by the demon again. "So Bob, the last?" "yes the last"
And this is the last Bolgie
Here at the last Bolgie, various sorts of falsifiers such as alchemists, counterfeiters, impostors, and perjurers are afflicted by various kind of diseases. And that's it
"Why were you being a narrator on each Bolgie? People need the jokes, not the explanation" "it would be a hell of long writings if i tell them our story on each Bolgie Bob, and i can't wait to publish this post too" "oh okay i see, dear reader, once again so sorry for the lack of joke" "yeah so sorry"
And we've finished the vast eighth circle, and now only 1 circle left, neither of us talk on our way to the last circle at all. I can see that Bob is also as anxious as me, i don't know what will happen at the last circle but i believe in Bob. I can't see any elevator around but instead i see titans from here, only from the waist up. "Uh Dante, those were the giants, they are Nimrod, Ephialtes, Briareus, Tityos, Typhon, and that giant, the only one who isn't bounded with chains named Antaeus, he will help us reach the last circle, i lied, there is no elevator from malebolge, but there is at the last circle, we should ask Antaeus" "oh okay Virgil go ahead" "did you just call me Virgil" "yes" "oh well let's go".
Ninth Circle
We walk upon that giant then Antaeus helps to lower us down the pit to reach the last circle. Virgil explains that this circle also belongs to the fraud, but these individuals are distinguished from the mere fraudulent, their acts involve betraying a special relationship of some kind. This circle divided into 4 parts, called rounds.
"So now Dante, we're about to enter the first round, the last circle is against the popular image of hell as fiery, but instead it's cold here" "oh okay go on" "the first round named caine, for the treachery against family". I can see heads on this field of frozen ice, these humans are immersed in the ice up to their chins. "Virgil honestly i can no longer handle this, can we go faster?" "we're almost done Dante remain calm" "okay"
"And now this is the 2nd round named Antenora, for the betrayals of political entities such as parties, countires, or cities" "it's so quiet in here" "yes it is" "and why do they punished the same way the sinners get in caine?" "i don't know"
Then we proceed to the 3rd round
"The third round named Ptolomaea, for the treachery of guests, as you can see they're also fully buried down the frozen ice but their faces" "yes keep moving Virgil keep moving"
Then Virgil says that the last round named Judecca, this round resides the traitors against lords. Their bodies are completely encapsulated in ice "oh my god it's getting creepier here Virgil, we've done the whole 4 rounds which means the trip is done right? So what should we do for me to go home now?" "No Dante, there's still the center of Inferno down there" "down that dark path?" "yes" "what kind of thing is existing in there? Another sinners?" "yes" "you make me nervous Virgil" "because i also feel nervous Dante" "okay let's just finish this".
Then we enter the last part of Inferno, the center of the hell. Virgil says that he won't explain anything about this part but if i have a question, he will answer me if he knew the answer. This makes me getting more nervous than before. So the gate is right in front of us and this part is still icy like the previous. And at the amid this frozen tundra with cave ceiling, there is a figure of giant monster with three faces, it has wings, and it's immersed waist deep in ice. "Is that Satan himself?" "yes" he has 3 faces as i said, one red, one black, and one pale yellow. And from this distance i can see human figures for every each of its mouth. "Oh god who are they?" "They are the prominent traitors Dante, the ones on the left and right heads are Brutus and Cassius for their involvement in assassination of Julius Caesar" "oh well and that one on the middle?" "Judas" "oh god" "i think we're done here" "yes that's all it's done, this way".
Then we use the elevator to go, i don't know where we're going to, but this elevator is obviously going up. I don't know what's happening between us but i just feel so far away from Virgil, i don't know why.
In the elevator, we talk a bit. "So Dante, this is it, i think i supposed to say goodbye right now" "oh what Bob? I think there is still Purgatorio for us to travel through" "funny now you call me Bob again hahaha" "Virgil sounds bad buddy hahaha" "i don't think we need to travel through Purgatorio Dante, we don't need to" "why Bob?" "there's no difference between Purgatorio and Inferno, unless it's started from the bottom of the sea and ended up at shallow sky, Purgatorio is also the place of torture" "oh really? Then why the fuck would God created 2 places of afterlife tortures?" "the only difference is, you can still enter Paradiso if you were in Purgatorio, Purgatorio is the place for the sinners who sinned but prayed for forgiveness before their deaths, while the sinners in hell are those who sinned then tried to justify it and are unrepentant, so Purgatorio is temporal hell for sinners who soon will enter Paradiso" "oh i see, so i guess i'll do sins and pray for forgiveness before my death later Bob, so i'll get double shits" "yes go ahead Dante whatever you want" "it all makes sense" "i was sent by Beatrice Dante" "what Bob?" i ask that question while getting shock on his statement, but when i take a look at him, he's not there, he disappear, and the elevator ends up in the real world, i meet people. I still don't know what just happened but that trip through Inferno takes 2 years in real world but it only feels like hours.
Yo bicaz dat is da whole Inferno. And i feel like shit, so i won't edit the fuck out of it.
Ta Da!
"Why you don't want to take us across my old friend?" "because i'm enough with my shits and i don't think i have enough space for other people's Virgil, and we've never been a friend" seems like there ain't no way, this son of bitch will never change his mind. Then i take Bob to talk "hey the fuck Bob? Where is your magic trick?" "what?" "you usually bring something to bribe those bitches and now what? You'll keep asking for a thousand times just to hear a thousand nos? Come on Bob, i know that you have shit for that bitch, just please stop wasting our time" "no i don't have anything" "oh Bob come on i can no longer take that Phlegyas' handsome face, i'm sick of it, i want to kiss him, i might turn gay if you don't hurry" "no really Dante i don't have anything to please him, i don't know anything about this guy and no one really knows unless God himself" "oh you serious Bob?" "well yes i am" "then how we cross? Is there any other way than using that son of a bitch's 'ferry'?" "i don't know how and i don't think there is other way, i think swimming probably worth a shot" "oh really swimming? Oh my god, i will think how to please this Phlegyas. So we should take this guy's skiff to reach the other side of the river, but to me he seems like won't change his mind in any way we're going to try, right Bob?" "no i will just give him a bar of chocolate like the last time i went here" "SAID YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BRIBE HIM MOTHERFUCKER" "yes i said that i don't have anything, but i didn't say that i don't have chocolate" "WHAT THE FUCK BOB I'M AFRAID THAT I SHOULD SWIM ACROSS" "why so serious?" "FUUUUUUCCCCCKKK YOU GOT ME BOB FUCK YOU" i cried. So we come back to Phlegyas and do some light talks before we give him the chocolate.
"Hey Phlegyas, how long have you been here?" "forever, human" "oh really? What are you actually doing in here buddy? You look exhausted, right Bob?" "absolutely" "then why would you care on me human? And forget about everything Virgil, i won't take you across" "well i'm not asking you to Phlegyas, and i think that human is talking to you, pleas honor him a bit" "what you want human?" "no i don't want anything buddy, i just think that you've been here for such a long time and you look super exhausted" "well if you don't mind i'm on work right now" "what buddy? What are you doing?" "i'm doing my job" "hey Bob, what is our buddy actually doing? What is his job?" "his job is to take care and keep the environment of the Styx the way it is" "that's it Bob?" "and carry some passenger across it" "oh heard like a big thing to do Bob, i would be so hungry if i were him" "yes of course Dante, he might be an unliving creature, and so do i, but i still feel starve even if i should not do the obligation to fulfill my stomach" "so Bob, it ought to be a nice thing to have something to eat right?" "very very nice thing" "so Bob, i'm hungry too" "yes Dante me too" "so i think we supposed to have a CHOCOLATE bar left right?" "hell yes we have Dante" "i think it's a very very nice thing to eat that because we're exhausted and we're hungry of our long journey right?" "very very nice thing" "well then where's the CHOCOLATE Bob?" "here it comes Dante" "wow Bob, one really nice white CHOCOLATE bar" "yes Dante a really nice white CHOCOLATE" "hmmm it must be really delicious right?" "yes of course, and it must be much more delicious because we're starving" "hmmm so what are we waiting for Bob?" "go on my friend". I pretend that i'm going to put that Hershey's on my mouth, but only a few inches left from my mouth "STOOOOPPPPP!!!!!" "what Phlegyas? You want some of this?" "fuck you human fuck you, and you Virgil, fuck you" "so you could take us across Phlegyas?" "no forget it, i was just shocked" "oh well okay Phlegyas, and Bob i think we've been mistaken, we have 2 CHOCOLATE bars am i right?" "wait let me check it" then Bob checks his backpack "oh yes Dante you're right, we have 2 bars" "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I WILL TAKE YOU ACROSS, give the chocolates to me now" "well buddy here they come". Even if Phlegyas reluctantly do it, but he transports us across the Styx.
We're on the skiff and hell yes i'm afraid because it is a river, and not so far from here, there are a lot of humans standing on the middle, they are not actually just standing, they are punching each other when i could take a better closer look. "Wow wow who are they Bob?" "the wrathful buddy" "well it's pretty strange to see this happening thing down here, these bitches walk on the water surface and they punch each other, i would rather go somewhere else on this river" "they're programmed to Dante, i mean you can't do anything when you're dead unless you enter Paradiso, but here in Inferno, nah don't you think that you can do anything you want to, even only a little bit, you can't do anything because you were punished" "it's just funny to see a lot of people fighting each other" it looks like every single each of them fight for themselves, for nothing, they just punch anyone their hand can reach, it's so funny to see that kind of thing. We pass through this humans and they give us the path without paying attention to anything but their targets. They just get off our path without stopping punching on each other and without looking at us. In the middle of the crowd, i see a big man, about 2,1 meters tall with big muscular body, he punches a man near him and that poor man falls pretty hard onto the water, he drowns, then he swims to the surface, and then he rises back standing on it, he ain't punch that big guy back but instead kick him, but that big guy doesn't moved, so he punch that poor guy again much harder than before, that man falls and drowns and rises all over again. "Hahahaha they are so stupid Bob" "i said that you will love this one" "yes you are right Bob, there are some little piece of entertainments on this one hahaha better than any previous circles". But i get bored no longer after that, so i drop my hand to the surface and play the wave with my hand. And when i see the water, i immediately pull my hand back "HOLY MOTHER OF BITCHES, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" "what Dante?" "HOW COME THERE ARE HUMANS INSIDE THE RIVER BOB? WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?" "oh take it easy man, they are the sullen" "HELL YES I'M COOL BUT THEY FREAKIN' THE FUCK OUT OF ME" "the sullen lie gurgling beneath the water, withdrawn into a black sulkiness which can find no joy in God or man or the universe" "I DON'T FUCKING CARE, I ALMOST GOT A HEART ATTACK" "this human is pussy Virgil" "SHUT UP PHLEGYAS, JUST PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP" "yes he is Phlegyas" "CAN WE DRIVE FASTER YOU SHIT? I'VE KNOWN THIS CIRCLE AND I THINK WE CAN PROCEED TO THE NEXT ONE" "pussy".
Then not so long after that, we reach the other side of the river "hey Phlegyas, thanks a lot" "fuck you". Then we take the elevator.
Sixth Circle
I asked about Phlegyas in the elevator "the first human-formed inhabitant of hell is a motherfucking jerk, what's wrong with him Bob? Seems like you have some private problem with our lovely Phlegyas because the others aren't acted that hard to us" "human-formed? Who the fuck are you talking about?" "what Bob?" "Phlegyas? Human formed? Have you been drinking lately?" "yes on the 4th circle" "you were drunk buddy" "oh really?" "yes Phlegyas isn't a human formed creature" "oh fuck i was too drunk to see, so what is he look like?" "he is a Faun" "what is that?" "have you watched Narnia?" "yes" "he is Mr. Tumnus" "oh he looks like that goat man" "no no no he is Mr. Tumnus himself" "oh my fuck he played a role?" "yes" "i think that Mr. Tumnus was James Mcavoy" "nah that was Phlegyas" "fuck this world is real strange, first i get into this place then i find out that hollywood hired a hell indigenous" "yeah i know" "and do you recall that Lucy Pevensie Bob?" "yeah that little bitch" "she's a smokin' hot chick right now Bob" "i know what puberty can do Dante, i know".
We open the elevator door forcefully because the door stuck. Then this sixth circle shows its face, this is the face of hell i always thought about where all i can see is flame and figures of humans burned inside it. It's so frightening in here, the atmosphere is so different and i don't feel really good. "This sixth circle is for the heretics Dante, i've been here lots of times but i still frightened of this circle" "yeah i also don't feel really good in here Bob, where's the elevator?" "i think we better use the previous elevator to reach the seventh circle because it is closer" "oh okay, i think we can't use the elevator to jump off any circle" "hah?" "i mean i think the elevator from the fifth circle can only reach the sixth circle and we should take another elevator from the sixth circle to reach the seventh circle" "no we can go to any circle from the elevator Dante, up or down, but that's not how we work right? The pleasure would gone if we do that kind of thing" "pleasure? Oh come on you fuck, i just remember that i still don't know why you take me here and who you actually are Bob" "i said that you'll find out later Dante, and my name is Virgil you knew that, but you can call me anything you want" "i'll call you pussyslayerxxx419" "i mean you can call me Bob, you shit" "so Bob seventh circle?" "yes let's go".
Seventh Circle
Bob tells me that this circle is quite terrifying. He says that i should prepare myself for the terror i'm about to see. Yes it makes sense, the more deeper, the more horror it gets. "Bob i start to feel not good about the rest of this journey, i mean i can no longer enjoy it anymore, it's getting worse and worse" "yes i know that Dante, i also don't enjoy the trip from sixth circle deeper cause it's so frightening to see such kind of things, but trust me Dante we're here for a reason, you'll get the good points of it later after we finish" "can we just finish this trip faster Bob? It doesn't feel good here, and we're only in the elevator, the door ain't even opened yet" "i'd like to Dante, but we should do this" "oh God, okay okay" "here grab some chocolate from my backpack, will make you feel better" "okay let me get some, where it is?" "inside it" i try to look up for some chocolate in the backpack but i can't find it anywhere "where the fuck is the chocolate Bob?" "inside it" "i wouldn't fucking ask you twice if i already found it bitch" "oh it's not there?" "no" then Bob takes the pack off his back and try to look for the chocolate. "Too bad i can't also find it Dante" "did you give the last bar to Phlegyas?" "well, probably that was the last" "oh shit you retard" "you were the one who said that we have 2 bars to him you fuck" "i thought we have more" "yeah i also thought that we have more" "so we don't?" "you can take a fucking closer look to my belongings and if you find any, i don't think i need to answer that question BECAUSE WE OBVIOUSLY DON'T YOU MORON" "hey take it easy Bob what the fuck is wrong with you?" "I NEED SOME CHOCOLATE" "WELL ME TOO YOU PIECE OF SHIT" "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT" "WE WOULDN'T BE HERE ANYWAY IF WE DIDN'T GIVE THAT PHLEGYAS FUCKER THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE YOU SON OF A BITCH SO JUST GO WITH IT" "NO FUCK NO DON'T BLAME THAT FUCKER" "WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT BOB?" "I NEED A FUCKING HUG" "wut?" "I'M SO FUCKING SCARED DANTE, I'M SCARED" "wait wut?" "forget it".
Ding dong the elevator bells ring and the door opens.
This is the seventh circle, i can't explain the terror properly. DORA MARQUEZ IS FUCKING BOOTS ALL OVER THE HORIZON, all you can see is this bitch gets banged hard by a monkey.
"Who wrote the last paragraph Dante?" "i don't really know Bob, just leave it there" "yes i don't care but that is so... Forget it we're on a circle" "that's it"
This seventh circle has 3 parts, the outer ring, the middle ring, and the inner ring. We will be walking outside in. Now we're on the outer ring. "The circle resides the violent, and this outer ring is for the violent against people and property, this river called Phlegethon, and you can see the violent immersed there Dante" "the water seems so hot Bob, so terrifying" "yes it is boiling and no it was not water buddy, it's blood" "oh i see, that explained why it looks red" "how could you pay more attention to the water than the sinners dude?" "i try not to notice them, i try not to care, cause it's so uncomfortable to look at melting bones and human flesh" "oh i forget that you also have those great chances to enter this Inferno right?" "no i won't do any more sins for my entire life of course" "bingo, you already got the big point of this journey buddy" "so that's it? Can i go home?" "no there are some others" "fuck why should i stuck here with an introvert retard, just tell me what" "no said you hate spoiler" "i blown my head with my very own bullet, well eat shit" "gotcha bitch".
Then we enter the middle ring. It's so noisy in here "OH MY FUCK OH MY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" "THE HARPIES DANTE" "NO NOT THE HARPIES BOB, THE BUSHES THEY WERE EATING, I CAN SEE FACES ON THAT BUSHES" "OH YES THEY WERE THE SUICIDES DANTE, THE VIOLENT AGAINST SELF" "DAMN, THEY ARE BEING TORN OFF BY THE BEAKS" "YES DANTE AND TAKE A BETTER LOOK, YOU SEE THAT WATER-LIKE LIQUID WHEN THE HARPIES ARE FED UPON THE THORNY BUSHES THERE?" "LET ME GUESS, THAT WAS BLOOD?" "YES THAT IS" "OH FUCK I CAN'T STAND THE NOISE BOB LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" "YES GOOD IDEA, THIS WAY"
And finally the inner ring. A dessert with fire on it, and there is a rain from the sky, a rain of fiery flakes. "Oh god it's getting worse" "yes it is Dante, cause the deeper place means the heavier sins committed" "who are they Bob?" "said you would tell their presence" "oh i see, BEHOLD YOUR BROTHER FROM ANOTHER WORLD, SODOMITES, YOUR GREAT BIG VIRGIL IS HERE" "what the fuck Dante?" "i know you like dick gay living dead" "the fuck?" "DEAR COCKSUCKERS, WHY DON'T YOU PULL YOUR BROTHER OVER YOUR PLACE?" "YO SODOMITES, THIS HUMAN IS YOUR KIN SUCCESSOR, HE GOT LEFT BY YOU AND NOW HE GOT NO DICK LEFT TO BLOW OR BUTT TO STAB SO HE SUCKS HIS OWN DICK AND STABS HIS OWN ASSHOLE WITH HIS OWN IMPOTENT DICK" "damn that's good, DEAR SODOMITES, THIS BOB HAS BEEN EYEBALLING MY BEAUTIFUL BUTT FROM THE VESTIBULE AND I JUST PRETEND THAT I DON'T NOTICE BECAUSE I FEEL SORRY OF KNOWING THAT HE HAS NO DICK TO STAB MY ASS" "so you would ask me to put my dick into your ass if i have one?" "damn... Hell no Bob... I was just saying that.... Wait... DEAR SODOMITES, THIS BOB JUST ADMITTED THAT HE HAS NO DICK" "oh fuck, you win this round Dante you win this round..." "HELL YEAH SODOMITES I'VE BEEN WALKING WITH A DICKLESS MAN THIS WHOLE TIME" "stop it you won" "dickless shit" "gay". Bob also said that this inner ring also houses the blasphemers.
Then we decide to walk out this circle because even if i finally met the Sodomites, the torture still looks horrible, so the faster it finished the better.
Eighth Circle
"We better take a rest now Dante, it's a long road to go to the last 2 circles" "oh i don't know whether i can do it in the elevator but i'll try" "the eighth circle is a huge floor, a real broad floor" "oh well then i'll try to take some rest" "yes you better".
While we're having some rest inside the elevator, Bob explains about the next circle we're going to step our feet on. He says that the elevator ends up in a place and we can only reach the center of the circle by descending a vast cliff which means we should get a ride, but he didn't tell me what kind of ride we're going to take. The eighth circle stands for the fraudulent, for those who were involved in conscious fraud or treachery. And he also says that this circle have some difference with the previous circle, the guilty are placed in the circle named Malebolge or evil pockets. I can't imagine how evil pockets look like but Bob says that it's some kind of ditch of stones. It divided into ten bolgie with bridges spanning in between every bolgie.
"Well stop saying anything Bob, you said that i better take some rest before the elevator stops while now you keep talking, i know that you have no dick but you have to learn to grow one" "stop it Dante, stop talking about Dick, i know that you've won a round so just please stop boasting the fuck out of it" "i was just asking for you to shut up and let me try to fall asleep" "oh well then sorry, go ahead, i'll leave you" "wtf?" "i said rest not sleep" "well sleep is my rest" "i don't forbid you to sleep Dante go ahead" "then let me sleep" "then i'll leave you" "then fuck sleep" "then once i again i don't forbid you to" "then fuck this Bob".
I suddenly transported to a restaurant in Venice, across the table, there she is sitting beautifully waiting for the wine and the appetizer, my love of my life, Beatrice. Beatrice gets up from her chair and outstandingly break the table into two with her head "DID YOU SEE THAT SONS OF BITCHES?" then the whole restaurant clap their hands after she said that. Then we walk out that restaurant but a Jamaiccan hobo bangs me wildly with his guitar and saying strange random words right in front of that restaurant. "WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER WAKE UP" then i realize that i'm in an elevator with this Jamaiccan hobo. "Was i sleeping Bob?" "half an hour" "oh god thank you Bob" "for?" "for not literally leaving me here" "damn why did i wake you up" "i love you Bob" "fuck this shit" "so are we there yet?" "in a moment". It takes a pretty long time to reach the eighth circle but the elevator door finally opens.
Only a few meters apart from the elevator door, deterring us and the first Bolgie, there stands a giant cliff, a giant vast cliff. "Oh god Bob, i wasn't thinking about something this tall when you said that we should descend a vast cliff" "nah take it easy, we'll get a ride" "isn't there an elevator which headed straightly to the Malebolge?" "fuck no, but there is an elevator down there, we can't cheat on this one, we will always showed up here if we use the elevator, no way to end the elevator up down there" "god made this place well" "yes no one really know how" "so what kind of ride we're going to use to get down there?" "come". Bob do some idiotic dancing on the edge of that cliff while singing idiotic song with idiotic lyrics i don't understand, i almost got beaten by the temptation to kick this bitch down the cliff, but hell no i need him. "What the hell are you doing?" no answer, he just keep doing that shit, so i just keep watching him when suddenly a loud big roar echoing from the bottom of the cliff. "Oh i see Bob, the ride..." he keep doing that shit over and over. Then the roar is getting louder and louder and i, as a human, feel terrified, of course. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT BOB? DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT MOTHERFUCKING CERBERUS WHO WAS TRYING TO EAT US? AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET A BIGGER FLYING MONSTER TO RIDE THEM ON THE BACK LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS OF THIS BLESSED PALACE OF SATAN?" and again, no answer, that stupid dancing is getting more hectic than before. "HEY YOU BASTARD ANSWER ME" and you know that there is no answer "yah fuck this Bob, i believe in you" "just shut the fuck up, he's coming" then the flying monster shows up and the flutter of its wings almost blown me down toward land. "Come come, come good boy come" then the monster lands on the ground "Dante, please welcome Geryon, the one of the oldest ancient creature on Inferno" "oh god" it has, for once again, three heads. "I don't really know does Geryon have 3 heads or conjoined bodies but the most important thing is that he will travel us down there to the chain of Bolgie, Malebolge" "yes go ahead the faster the better" "why'd you look so afraid to meet Geryon Dante? You look so pale" "no i'm fine, go ahead Bob go ahead show me how to get on his back" "hahaha pussy". Then we both get on Geryon's back and Bob speaks in other language than English to Geryon, i don't know, probably some ancient language "ayo Geryon kita udah siap nih udah di punggung, ayo kita turun ke bawah" "oke Virgil, pegangan ya" "iya Geryon tenang aja". Then we start descending down the cliff. "I'VE NEVER BEEN IN ANY KIND OF FLIGHT BOB, PLEASE TELL THIS RETARDED CREATURE TO SLOW DOWN OR I'LL PUKE HIS BACK OFF" "REMAIN CALM DANTE IT'S SAFE, AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE ABOUT TO THROW UP, PUSH THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE AND VOILA! A MOTHERFUCKING SINK!" "DAMN IS THERE A TOILET TOO?" "YOU CAN SHIT ON YOUR OWN FACE CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ONE" SON OF A BITCH". And the flight finally over, we're on the center of the eighth circle "makasih banyak ya Geryon" "iya Virgil, Geryon pulang ya ke gua" "oke Geryon hati-hati yaa" "nanti kalo ada apa apa mampir aja ke rumah yaa" "iya Geryon makasih banyak yaa" "oke Virgil dadaah" "dadaah".
In front of us, the first Bolgie.
Humans marching in lines in opposite direction while getting whipped by some sort of demons. Bob says that this first Bolgie stands for the panderers and seducers, they walk in separated lines to opposite direction. They will be marching while getting whipped by demons for all eternity. Then we walk upon the bridge that connected this first Bolgie to the second.
At the end of the bridge, Bolgie 2.
Bolgie 2 belongs to the flatterers. They steeped in human excrement which represent the words they produced. This second Bolgie is much more like a water park without water but instead shit, shit park. And this place smells awful, Bob almost die here twice, no kidding, i almost die here. Twice. Failed committing suicide. Because this shit land smells really bad, we don't take too much photos in here and head straight to the bridge.
Bolgie 3 ahead.
For those who committed simony, they placed head-first in holes in rocks resembling Baptismal fonts with flames burning on the soles of their feet. "THESE USELESS FUCKERS SHOULD'VE BEEN nah fuck this let's go Bob" "yep".
Next, Bolgie 4.
Here in the 4th Bolgie, the sorcerers, astrologer, and false prophets have their head twisted around on their bodies backward so they find it necessary to walk backward because they couldn't see ahead. "Why are they here Bob?" "because they're sinners" "oh yeah i forgot that we're in hell, but tell me something, are you retarded?" "no, you are" "oh okay" "it's forbidden to see the future, and they could have been lying either" "yes yes i don't understand what you were saying because i'm a retard" "oh yah i forgot, sorry".
The fifth Bolgie
The place for corrupt politicians, they immersed in a lake of boiling pitch, which represents the sticky fingers and dark secret of their corrupt deals. These sinners get guarded by of Malebranche which keep making trumpet sound of their asses. The sinners trying to pull us to that lake and the Malebranche captivated that sinners but he ain't dead. Malacoda, the leader of the Malebranche, assign a troop of Malebranche to escort us safely to the next bridge.
Bolgie 6 after the bridge
For the hypocrites, they are walking listlessly with lead-gilded cloaks, which means so heavy for them to walk with. The cloaks represent the falsity behind the surface of their appearance of their actions, falsity will weighs them down here. "Next hole buddy?" "next hole".
Bolgie 7 in front of us
There is Centaur Cacus guarded the thieves, with a dragon on his shoulder and snakes covering his equine back. The thieves are pursued and bitten by snakes and lizards, the snake bites make them undergo various transformations, which is nice, for us, another thing to laugh at here at Inferno.
Bolgie 8 there
The eighth Bolgie stands for fraudulent advisers, not those who gave false advice, but the people who used their positions to advise others to engage in fraud. They are concealed within individual flames. "NEXT BOB NEXT"
There comes the ninth Bolgie
A demon, a sword-wielding demon hacks at the sowers of discord, dividing their body parts as they divided others when they were alive. The wound heals, just to get tore apart by the demon again. "So Bob, the last?" "yes the last"
And this is the last Bolgie
Here at the last Bolgie, various sorts of falsifiers such as alchemists, counterfeiters, impostors, and perjurers are afflicted by various kind of diseases. And that's it
"Why were you being a narrator on each Bolgie? People need the jokes, not the explanation" "it would be a hell of long writings if i tell them our story on each Bolgie Bob, and i can't wait to publish this post too" "oh okay i see, dear reader, once again so sorry for the lack of joke" "yeah so sorry"
And we've finished the vast eighth circle, and now only 1 circle left, neither of us talk on our way to the last circle at all. I can see that Bob is also as anxious as me, i don't know what will happen at the last circle but i believe in Bob. I can't see any elevator around but instead i see titans from here, only from the waist up. "Uh Dante, those were the giants, they are Nimrod, Ephialtes, Briareus, Tityos, Typhon, and that giant, the only one who isn't bounded with chains named Antaeus, he will help us reach the last circle, i lied, there is no elevator from malebolge, but there is at the last circle, we should ask Antaeus" "oh okay Virgil go ahead" "did you just call me Virgil" "yes" "oh well let's go".
Ninth Circle
We walk upon that giant then Antaeus helps to lower us down the pit to reach the last circle. Virgil explains that this circle also belongs to the fraud, but these individuals are distinguished from the mere fraudulent, their acts involve betraying a special relationship of some kind. This circle divided into 4 parts, called rounds.
"So now Dante, we're about to enter the first round, the last circle is against the popular image of hell as fiery, but instead it's cold here" "oh okay go on" "the first round named caine, for the treachery against family". I can see heads on this field of frozen ice, these humans are immersed in the ice up to their chins. "Virgil honestly i can no longer handle this, can we go faster?" "we're almost done Dante remain calm" "okay"
"And now this is the 2nd round named Antenora, for the betrayals of political entities such as parties, countires, or cities" "it's so quiet in here" "yes it is" "and why do they punished the same way the sinners get in caine?" "i don't know"
Then we proceed to the 3rd round
"The third round named Ptolomaea, for the treachery of guests, as you can see they're also fully buried down the frozen ice but their faces" "yes keep moving Virgil keep moving"
Then Virgil says that the last round named Judecca, this round resides the traitors against lords. Their bodies are completely encapsulated in ice "oh my god it's getting creepier here Virgil, we've done the whole 4 rounds which means the trip is done right? So what should we do for me to go home now?" "No Dante, there's still the center of Inferno down there" "down that dark path?" "yes" "what kind of thing is existing in there? Another sinners?" "yes" "you make me nervous Virgil" "because i also feel nervous Dante" "okay let's just finish this".
Then we enter the last part of Inferno, the center of the hell. Virgil says that he won't explain anything about this part but if i have a question, he will answer me if he knew the answer. This makes me getting more nervous than before. So the gate is right in front of us and this part is still icy like the previous. And at the amid this frozen tundra with cave ceiling, there is a figure of giant monster with three faces, it has wings, and it's immersed waist deep in ice. "Is that Satan himself?" "yes" he has 3 faces as i said, one red, one black, and one pale yellow. And from this distance i can see human figures for every each of its mouth. "Oh god who are they?" "They are the prominent traitors Dante, the ones on the left and right heads are Brutus and Cassius for their involvement in assassination of Julius Caesar" "oh well and that one on the middle?" "Judas" "oh god" "i think we're done here" "yes that's all it's done, this way".
Then we use the elevator to go, i don't know where we're going to, but this elevator is obviously going up. I don't know what's happening between us but i just feel so far away from Virgil, i don't know why.
In the elevator, we talk a bit. "So Dante, this is it, i think i supposed to say goodbye right now" "oh what Bob? I think there is still Purgatorio for us to travel through" "funny now you call me Bob again hahaha" "Virgil sounds bad buddy hahaha" "i don't think we need to travel through Purgatorio Dante, we don't need to" "why Bob?" "there's no difference between Purgatorio and Inferno, unless it's started from the bottom of the sea and ended up at shallow sky, Purgatorio is also the place of torture" "oh really? Then why the fuck would God created 2 places of afterlife tortures?" "the only difference is, you can still enter Paradiso if you were in Purgatorio, Purgatorio is the place for the sinners who sinned but prayed for forgiveness before their deaths, while the sinners in hell are those who sinned then tried to justify it and are unrepentant, so Purgatorio is temporal hell for sinners who soon will enter Paradiso" "oh i see, so i guess i'll do sins and pray for forgiveness before my death later Bob, so i'll get double shits" "yes go ahead Dante whatever you want" "it all makes sense" "i was sent by Beatrice Dante" "what Bob?" i ask that question while getting shock on his statement, but when i take a look at him, he's not there, he disappear, and the elevator ends up in the real world, i meet people. I still don't know what just happened but that trip through Inferno takes 2 years in real world but it only feels like hours.
Yo bicaz dat is da whole Inferno. And i feel like shit, so i won't edit the fuck out of it.
Ta Da!
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