Not the proper time for fun stuff

I'm feeling so blue right now and it's raining outside.

I'm feeling so cold even though i'm sheltering beneath a warm roof and surrounded by thick walls.

failure

Perhaps that's why.

I don't need to ask you all these questions because i don't think it's necessary and i knew all the answers. I know that you have plenty of remorse about a lot of things you've done, i know that you have been regretfully lamenting all the irreversible mistakes in your past, and i know that you had taken some wrong turns in some occasional time in your life then asked how could you be that moron. But as always, in the end you will realize that anyone has got nothing to do with our past.

Let me tell you what kind of person i am when dealing with this sort of topic we're having.

I'm 18 and people always think that any kind of man at my age is still stupid because we have not yet fully awaken, foolishly gullible, and unaware of the real world in front of us. We are too young to understand, too blind to look, too deaf to hear, and too voracious to deal with reality. But i don't know, i think i'm mature enough to see the world and its entire frankness. I don't know whether i'm being pessimist or i'm just trying to not look for happiness above the sky, i just know that thrones and crowns are for the nobles. I know what would you think about me, but i also have my own opinions about this, it's all our right to have opinions about everything, right? I'm just trying to transfer my perspective and who knows if it is useful for anyone out there.

I'm that kind of person who doesn't set the standards of everything far for too high, perhaps i'm just terrified about the reality. I know that by doing that thing means that i have been trying to avoid the truth, the bitter truth. I know that i'm too coward to get out and face the real shit.

I just think that i'm afraid of disappointment, i'm just evading myself from it. But really, the more days i passed, the more i think that i have been doing the right thing, that was one kind of protection i built to defy cruelty. You know how i feel right? You know that many of times you think why did everything get worse and worse, why did i have never done the right thing even for once, why couldn't i reach it, but for me, i just think all of that happened because i set it too high.

I know that was some sort of laziness. I'm not going to justify my acts or dropping objections about my faults. I wrote this because i saw my friends, fellow student whom i think needed help, who failed on which i failed too. They got so disappointed of the stalemate they can never change, i just think that was idiotic, i mean they were prolonging their desperation. I just think that was a waste of time. Why don't you just try to find the appropriate urging then persistently catch on it, and stop wasting your energy to something that had passed. You survived to fight another war buddy.

And also about the high standard equivocation, i was just trying to be wise. I know that we must not stop dreaming high and keep trying to reach it, i know that many people say nothing is impossible, but let me be frank on this one, that's bullshit. If you still think that nothing is impossible, try to imagine a new color. Let me get that phrase straight, of course there are impossibilities which we have or haven't known, but human is amazingly able to burgeon to something now we might think as impossible, and it's all about time to uncover it. But once we human race reached the impossibilities, there will show up another ones, it will keep running like that, it's an infinite loop. That's impossibilities for me, it's relative.

This shit is getting too high and i think it has extended from my point of view i tried to share at the first place, i detected a lot of inconsistencies and i think it's enough before i try to share my hot nude portrait.

Let me complete my last paragraphs.

Every each of us is unique, we were made for something. If you think that you have jumped high enough but it's still unreachable, sought for too long and it's still missing, ran for too fast but it's still out of your reach, then stop making the fool out of yourself. Don't be a blind jackass, don't try to pursue the unattainable, open your eyes because only by then you may realize that you probably just made for something else.

It's a wide world. Fuckers.

Good, morning maybe?